Snippets from the interim

Originally uploaded by queentassone.
I didn't realize it'd been so long since I posted!

Since we've been living half the week up at Heathcote since October, I really haven't found much time to be on the computer.

In case anyone out there still remembers me, and maybe wonders what Rowan and I've been up to, I thought I would just encapsulate our life together for the past 6 months or so (since I last posted pictures to flickr) in the following. Collapse )
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tiger face


Originally uploaded by queentassone.
Yesterday I mentioned not having managed to catch a poop on the potty by 3 months but today we did so I think that basically counts!

See pix of the actual event on Flickr, along with new ones from swim classes.

Also, I forgot to mention last night about the Rowan trees. We saved Rowan's placenta and brought it home frozen. Then we bought 2 baby Rowan trees and planted half of his placenta under each in the front yard, to grow up with him and enjoy the presence of his namesake. These pix are already up!
tiger face

3 months!

Super Baby
Originally uploaded by queentassone.
Today was Rowan's three month birthday. It feels like forever! As my aunt said, it's impossible to conceive of a time when he didn't exist. It's been a difficult 3 months but so incredibly wonderful.

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I am so glad I have little videos from his first month (and after) - he changes so much, so fast that I hardly can remember what he used to look like or feel like. I have put up a couple of these videos on youtube for others to enjoy and will post more from time to time.

36 Weeks

belly cast
Originally uploaded by queentassone.
Today is 36 weeks into my pregnancy! The due date is 2 weeks from today.

On Monday some friends helped me make a belly cast, shown here in progress. I passed out so we decided not to cast the hands this time but hopefully I will get to make another - I want to cast my belly with my hands holding where I usually feel the baby's back/bum and foot.

Tomorrow is my last official day of work, but I'll be in part time next week to finish the transition. My mom will be arriving some time this weekend to stay with me until I(/we) move home at the beginning of March. Of my last paycheck, I have about $350 left after rent - and my dentist wants $250 of that! So basically effective immediately I will no longer be independent or supporting myself in any way. Loss of independence, a new baby, and moving home with my parents is a LOT of awfully big changes at once. Good thing I like adventures..

The baby is still very active - I felt movement several times an hour for about 10 hours the other night! Watching the babies at La Leche League who just seemed to nurse and sleep I wasn't sure if they ever moved at all! My angel's still hiccupping frequently. Sometimes when I'm holding the baby people ask if it's kicking and I mostly say yes if I'm touching the foot, but my baby doesn't really kick - it mostly just wiggles (but does not beep) and stretches leisurely(ly?). So instead of impacts from feet I feel the foot sweep along the bottom of my ribs in a long arc. It's quite adorable and makes me fall in love with the baby.

Sometimes I feel like I can't wait to meet the baby, but I really can - I have so much that still has to be done and so much I would like to do while pregnant, for one thing, but also there doesn't seem any real need to rush. Not only is it an inevitability (or as close as it gets) that the baby will arrive and change everything about life as I know it, but I don't know when will be my next chance to experience being pregnant and I haven't had that much time to focus on it til now anyway. So that is the plan from here on out and I am so grateful and eager to get to luxuriate in the last few days or weeks I have of this pregnancy. Get ready to help me welcome baby!

32 weeks

Originally uploaded by queentassone.
Happy 32 weeks baby!

Today is 80% through. It seems so close now that I'm starting to get scared - about all the things I still have to get done, and about being a mother forever.. I'm still totally excited and feel blessed and joyful to receive such a gift but it's such a big gift it kind of scares me. Kinda like how I don't buy big/expensive things for myself - if I don't have them I can't lose them, and I'm not much of one for taking big risks.

My baby moves basically all the time these days. Has been having hiccuping sessions for a while too - they used to drive me nuts (when you have them, don't you like being able to stop them?) but they seem to have become somewhat less strong and I am relieved that my annoyance on those couple of occasions didn't make the baby stop doing something that, I presume, is beneficial to developing diaphragm strength or some such.

Had a second baby shower with my mom's family this past weekend and got so much stuff, and so much love it was wonderful. We are basically ready, but there is still plenty of preparing to do.

I have a ton of stuff going on at work, not the least of which is searching for, interviewing, selecting and training my replacement, among other year-end financial tasks and rush technical writing jobs. Also many things to get rid of so I fit back home. Will be posting [at least a link to] things for sale / give-away here hopefully within a week for anyone in the area to check out.

Still planning and hoping and experiencing newness and gratitude and trust and clarity in new ways and depths. Thank you thank you thank you to this amazing soul that is so changing my life and my self. I love you!

26 weeks

26 weeks
Originally uploaded by queentassone.
What a wonderful, busy holiday! My Dad's family had a baby shower for us on Saturday - here's a posterity shot. More are on flickr.

I don't think it was Thanksgiving that did it, but I've finally felt like my belly is big again - I already felt that earlier but then after a while at each size I started to feel it was small and roomy again. Not now! My fundal height (pubic bone to top of uterus, measured circumferencially) went up 4 cm in the last 2 weeks. I was measured at 2 midwife appointments at Magee because I failed the glucose screen the first time and they were concerned I might have gestational diabetes. For the screen, they give you a sweet carbonated beverage and then test your blood sugar an hour later. They told me I could eat before it so I had fruit for breakfast, and then my blood sugar measured at 136 after the test - a point higher than the 135 cut off. Then for those 2 intervening weeks there was a bit of worry, diet altering (or at least monitoring) just in case, and speculating as to whether it was the fruit or diabetes that caused that result. Instead of requiring me to do the 3 hr diagnostic test where they take blood every hr in a similar setup, they said I could do the screen again so I went back on Tuesday and didn't eat anything before. My blood sugar this time was 96 - as the midwife said, I passed with flying colors! Big relief, as my grandmother is diabetic and my very very healthy aunt apparently had gestational diabetes during at least one of her pregnancies, and I tend to think I eat a fair amount of crap so I was almost prepared to think I could have it. It's the 3rd time I've had blood drawn for pregnancy-related tests and it's gotten better each time. The first time I could barely think for 3 hours afterwards, that's how much it affected my psychologically and physiologically. The second time they took less blood and I ate right after and the previous experience was still recent enough to refer back to and hold on to the fact that as an experience, it really wasn't as bas as I'd built it up to be in my mind. This last time I had all of that, but she used a butterfly needle and I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL IT!! It was the best thing I can imagine - if you ever have the option I recommend requesting a butterfly needle whenever you have blood drawn - I don't know why they would use anything else!

The baby shower was so nice - baby things are so adorable! It was kind of funny because I felt like the presents were for me, but of course they're all for the baby. I can tell the baby is considerably bigger now not just from my tummy but from the quality of the movements - my tummy moves a lot when the baby touches it and although the impacts feel less like kicks or blows and more like wiggles or snuggles now, they feel like they're the movements of a baby! instead of a less identifiable, more unknown entity.

Over the weekend there were lots of questions about names so I read some of the lists again and got some feedback. Here are some of the favorites for anyone interested:
Girls - Kaelin, Ariel, Kira, Alena, Ariana
Boys - Jayden, Kieran, Tristan, Galen, Kyler

Last night I read the baby "Hope for the Flowers," but got a *much* more active response from putting the cell on speakerphone down near my belly while talking to a friend. It was really funny, and made me start to rethink my stance on getting belly headphones to play the baby music. I'd been assuming the baby was hearing everything anyway, so just listening to classical music myself would entail playing it for the baby, but that reaction last night makes it seem the headphones might make a big difference. I had no idea what "Hope for the Flowers" was about the last time I read it, I guess 15 years ago. Turns out it's a really cool book, and I am really literal-minded.

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Happy 24 weeks!

22 weeks
Originally uploaded by queentassone.
I guess that's about 3/5 of the way there.. 6 months if months were only 4 weeks, but of course they're mostly not so it's only 5.5 months on the calendar. The next couple months are certainly gonna be interesting. I already have considerably more difficulty maneuvering than I am used to. For a long time I wasn't feeling like I was gaining much weight but at this point I'm between 10-15 lbs heavier than my non-pregnant weight (which fluctuates about 5 lbs but I never check it so I don't really know what it was pre-pregnancy).

According to various sources, the baby is about a foot long and weighs about 2 lbs. Congratulations to my baby on your fingernails and tastebuds!! May they serve you well.

We have started playing a game where sometimes when the baby bumps me I will tap on that part of my belly and then the baby will bump me there a couple more times. We go back and forth 2-4 times before I guess the baby finds something better to do ;). It makes me very proud, and, as if there weren't enough besides to do so, makes me feel very special that I get exclusive priveleges to interact with this person no one else knows at all.

I've started african dance and may start belly dance this weekend. At first I was afraid it wasn't good for the baby but it makes me feel so good and the baby's moving enough that I'm not worried any more.

Tons to do in the next few months, not counting the holidays. I am so grateful for all the support my friends and family give me.

My belly is so itchy! No stretch marks yet though, knock on wood!


Originally uploaded by queentassone.
Some people seemed to think I was trying to make the father's identity a mystery - that wasn't the intention. There are a couple more pictures of us on my flickr account from the beginning of September.

I've been feeling the baby move on a daily basis for what seems like forever, but has probably really only been a couple weeks. My family's given me permission to paint a mural on the walls of the bedroom the baby and I will have when we move home to my parents' so I've been having a blast planning that. I've outgrown all my pants and skirts so my mom and I went shopping for some basic maternity clothes a couple weeks ago.

More than any particular food, I crave to swim, float, play in unchlorinated water. The couple dips I did get this summer in the Atlantic and Lake Erie were wonderful and healing but I am several summers' worth of full weeks of full days in the ocean behind my quota and the desires to open and expand and surrender control and let go of self that come with the pregnancy are making me miss it all that much more.