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April 8th, 2008
01:20 am - Snippets from the interim
I didn't realize it'd been so long since I posted!
Since we've been living half the week up at Heathcote since October, I really haven't found much time to be on the computer.
In case anyone out there still remembers me, and maybe wonders what Rowan and I've been up to, I thought I would just encapsulate our life together for the past 6 months or so (since I last posted pictures to flickr) in the following. ( Selection of salient moments )
Current Mood: fond
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May 24th, 2007
01:47 am - Champ
Yesterday I mentioned not having managed to catch a poop on the potty by 3 months but today we did so I think that basically counts!
See pix of the actual event on Flickr, along with new ones from swim classes.
Also, I forgot to mention last night about the Rowan trees. We saved Rowan's placenta and brought it home frozen. Then we bought 2 baby Rowan trees and planted half of his placenta under each in the front yard, to grow up with him and enjoy the presence of his namesake. These pix are already up!
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May 23rd, 2007
12:24 am - 3 months!
Today was Rowan's three month birthday. It feels like forever! As my aunt said, it's impossible to conceive of a time when he didn't exist. It's been a difficult 3 months but so incredibly wonderful.
( Updates / Stats )
I am so glad I have little videos from his first month (and after) - he changes so much, so fast that I hardly can remember what he used to look like or feel like. I have put up a couple of these videos on youtube for others to enjoy and will post more from time to time.
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March 16th, 2007
01:29 am - Welcome, my son!
My son Rowan was born 3 weeks ago. ( Read the birth story here )
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February 1st, 2007
06:02 pm - 36 Weeks
Today is 36 weeks into my pregnancy! The due date is 2 weeks from today.
On Monday some friends helped me make a belly cast, shown here in progress. I passed out so we decided not to cast the hands this time but hopefully I will get to make another - I want to cast my belly with my hands holding where I usually feel the baby's back/bum and foot.
Tomorrow is my last official day of work, but I'll be in part time next week to finish the transition. My mom will be arriving some time this weekend to stay with me until I(/we) move home at the beginning of March. Of my last paycheck, I have about $350 left after rent - and my dentist wants $250 of that! So basically effective immediately I will no longer be independent or supporting myself in any way. Loss of independence, a new baby, and moving home with my parents is a LOT of awfully big changes at once. Good thing I like adventures..
The baby is still very active - I felt movement several times an hour for about 10 hours the other night! Watching the babies at La Leche League who just seemed to nurse and sleep I wasn't sure if they ever moved at all! My angel's still hiccupping frequently. Sometimes when I'm holding the baby people ask if it's kicking and I mostly say yes if I'm touching the foot, but my baby doesn't really kick - it mostly just wiggles (but does not beep) and stretches leisurely(ly?). So instead of impacts from feet I feel the foot sweep along the bottom of my ribs in a long arc. It's quite adorable and makes me fall in love with the baby.
Sometimes I feel like I can't wait to meet the baby, but I really can - I have so much that still has to be done and so much I would like to do while pregnant, for one thing, but also there doesn't seem any real need to rush. Not only is it an inevitability (or as close as it gets) that the baby will arrive and change everything about life as I know it, but I don't know when will be my next chance to experience being pregnant and I haven't had that much time to focus on it til now anyway. So that is the plan from here on out and I am so grateful and eager to get to luxuriate in the last few days or weeks I have of this pregnancy. Get ready to help me welcome baby!
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January 4th, 2007
05:40 pm - 32 weeks
Happy 32 weeks baby!
Today is 80% through. It seems so close now that I'm starting to get scared - about all the things I still have to get done, and about being a mother forever.. I'm still totally excited and feel blessed and joyful to receive such a gift but it's such a big gift it kind of scares me. Kinda like how I don't buy big/expensive things for myself - if I don't have them I can't lose them, and I'm not much of one for taking big risks.
My baby moves basically all the time these days. Has been having hiccuping sessions for a while too - they used to drive me nuts (when you have them, don't you like being able to stop them?) but they seem to have become somewhat less strong and I am relieved that my annoyance on those couple of occasions didn't make the baby stop doing something that, I presume, is beneficial to developing diaphragm strength or some such.
Had a second baby shower with my mom's family this past weekend and got so much stuff, and so much love it was wonderful. We are basically ready, but there is still plenty of preparing to do.
I have a ton of stuff going on at work, not the least of which is searching for, interviewing, selecting and training my replacement, among other year-end financial tasks and rush technical writing jobs. Also many things to get rid of so I fit back home. Will be posting [at least a link to] things for sale / give-away here hopefully within a week for anyone in the area to check out.
Still planning and hoping and experiencing newness and gratitude and trust and clarity in new ways and depths. Thank you thank you thank you to this amazing soul that is so changing my life and my self. I love you!
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November 30th, 2006
06:12 pm - 26 weeks
What a wonderful, busy holiday! My Dad's family had a baby shower for us on Saturday - here's a posterity shot. More are on flickr.
I don't think it was Thanksgiving that did it, but I've finally felt like my belly is big again - I already felt that earlier but then after a while at each size I started to feel it was small and roomy again. Not now! My fundal height (pubic bone to top of uterus, measured circumferencially) went up 4 cm in the last 2 weeks. I was measured at 2 midwife appointments at Magee because I failed the glucose screen the first time and they were concerned I might have gestational diabetes. For the screen, they give you a sweet carbonated beverage and then test your blood sugar an hour later. They told me I could eat before it so I had fruit for breakfast, and then my blood sugar measured at 136 after the test - a point higher than the 135 cut off. Then for those 2 intervening weeks there was a bit of worry, diet altering (or at least monitoring) just in case, and speculating as to whether it was the fruit or diabetes that caused that result. Instead of requiring me to do the 3 hr diagnostic test where they take blood every hr in a similar setup, they said I could do the screen again so I went back on Tuesday and didn't eat anything before. My blood sugar this time was 96 - as the midwife said, I passed with flying colors! Big relief, as my grandmother is diabetic and my very very healthy aunt apparently had gestational diabetes during at least one of her pregnancies, and I tend to think I eat a fair amount of crap so I was almost prepared to think I could have it. It's the 3rd time I've had blood drawn for pregnancy-related tests and it's gotten better each time. The first time I could barely think for 3 hours afterwards, that's how much it affected my psychologically and physiologically. The second time they took less blood and I ate right after and the previous experience was still recent enough to refer back to and hold on to the fact that as an experience, it really wasn't as bas as I'd built it up to be in my mind. This last time I had all of that, but she used a butterfly needle and I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL IT!! It was the best thing I can imagine - if you ever have the option I recommend requesting a butterfly needle whenever you have blood drawn - I don't know why they would use anything else!
The baby shower was so nice - baby things are so adorable! It was kind of funny because I felt like the presents were for me, but of course they're all for the baby. I can tell the baby is considerably bigger now not just from my tummy but from the quality of the movements - my tummy moves a lot when the baby touches it and although the impacts feel less like kicks or blows and more like wiggles or snuggles now, they feel like they're the movements of a baby! instead of a less identifiable, more unknown entity.
Over the weekend there were lots of questions about names so I read some of the lists again and got some feedback. Here are some of the favorites for anyone interested:
Girls - Kaelin, Ariel, Kira, Alena, Ariana
Boys - Jayden, Kieran, Tristan, Galen, Kyler
Last night I read the baby "Hope for the Flowers," but got a *much* more active response from putting the cell on speakerphone down near my belly while talking to a friend. It was really funny, and made me start to rethink my stance on getting belly headphones to play the baby music. I'd been assuming the baby was hearing everything anyway, so just listening to classical music myself would entail playing it for the baby, but that reaction last night makes it seem the headphones might make a big difference. I had no idea what "Hope for the Flowers" was about the last time I read it, I guess 15 years ago. Turns out it's a really cool book, and I am really literal-minded.
( Read more gushing reflections on pregnancy here if you like! )
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November 9th, 2006
05:45 pm - Happy 24 weeks!
I guess that's about 3/5 of the way there.. 6 months if months were only 4 weeks, but of course they're mostly not so it's only 5.5 months on the calendar. The next couple months are certainly gonna be interesting. I already have considerably more difficulty maneuvering than I am used to. For a long time I wasn't feeling like I was gaining much weight but at this point I'm between 10-15 lbs heavier than my non-pregnant weight (which fluctuates about 5 lbs but I never check it so I don't really know what it was pre-pregnancy).
According to various sources, the baby is about a foot long and weighs about 2 lbs. Congratulations to my baby on your fingernails and tastebuds!! May they serve you well.
We have started playing a game where sometimes when the baby bumps me I will tap on that part of my belly and then the baby will bump me there a couple more times. We go back and forth 2-4 times before I guess the baby finds something better to do ;). It makes me very proud, and, as if there weren't enough besides to do so, makes me feel very special that I get exclusive priveleges to interact with this person no one else knows at all.
I've started african dance and may start belly dance this weekend. At first I was afraid it wasn't good for the baby but it makes me feel so good and the baby's moving enough that I'm not worried any more.
Tons to do in the next few months, not counting the holidays. I am so grateful for all the support my friends and family give me.
My belly is so itchy! No stretch marks yet though, knock on wood!
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October 13th, 2006
05:07 pm - developments
Some people seemed to think I was trying to make the father's identity a mystery - that wasn't the intention. There are a couple more pictures of us on my flickr account from the beginning of September.
I've been feeling the baby move on a daily basis for what seems like forever, but has probably really only been a couple weeks. My family's given me permission to paint a mural on the walls of the bedroom the baby and I will have when we move home to my parents' so I've been having a blast planning that. I've outgrown all my pants and skirts so my mom and I went shopping for some basic maternity clothes a couple weeks ago.
More than any particular food, I crave to swim, float, play in unchlorinated water. The couple dips I did get this summer in the Atlantic and Lake Erie were wonderful and healing but I am several summers' worth of full weeks of full days in the ocean behind my quota and the desires to open and expand and surrender control and let go of self that come with the pregnancy are making me miss it all that much more.
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August 31st, 2006
11:14 am - Enneagram
Kal told me to type myself on the [sufi] enneagram so I took a couple.
( charts etc )
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August 9th, 2006
11:51 am - and the wheel turns..
SO!
I taught 3 more yoga classes this week: Level 1, Level 2, and Short Course focusing on hips and lower back. I left my papers for the last 2 at work yesterday so I had to make up what to do on the fly. The students were very forgiving and helped me out when I didn't know what I was doing, and everyone said the classes were good again and thanked me. It was a blast, I had a great time! I just wish I knew more to teach.. I suppose that will come with time and practice! (both doing my own practice and practicing teaching)
In other news...
I finally got my Master's degree in the mail from CMU - it's only been 2 years or so. w00t!
Aaaaaannnnnnd, *drum roll*..
my biggest news that I can no longer contain is that
I'm pregnant! It'll be 3 months a week from tomorrow. Talk about life changes! It took a while to get used to but now I'm in a pretty good place about it - I have the support of my friends and family, and I have good resources for care and birth education and assistance, so I'm buckling in for the ride!
Current Mood: ultra-psyched
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May 18th, 2006
01:36 pm - Love Languages Meme
Interesting..
The Five Love LanguagesMy primary love language is probably Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being Quality Time.
Complete set of results| Physical Touch: | | 9 | | Quality Time: | | 8 | | Words of Affirmation: | | 7 | | Acts of Service: | | 4 | | Receiving Gifts: | | 2 |
( More information )
Take the quiz
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April 25th, 2006
03:01 pm
I taught my first yoga class Saturday morning at Yoga on Centre, filling in for Christina. It was a restorative class and I had 8 students, two of whom were friends and one who is a fellow teacher in training and helped me considerably with props and other details. I learned a ton about pacing, what is obvious and what needs to be said, how much force it might require to get people to watch a demo, what people can hear and fail to enact physically in their own bodies, etc. It was fascinating. Also a little nerve-wracking, but mostly not. I told them after class that it was my first class and thanked them for the experience and everyone said it was a good class and I did a good job. =D
Find your own pose!
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March 14th, 2006
09:53 am - Dreams
( weird and incoherent but maybe also cute and childish. for my own reference. )
maybe this is why i enjoy dreaming so much, even when it's weird, incoherent, or nightmarish - because it's generally pervaded by an un-self-consciousness that i haven't since growing up felt or embodied like i did as a child. i used to know i was utterly capable, and feel invincible. more than that, i used to feel transparent and insubstantial, like my body wasn't a thing that contained or surrounded me.. i didn't think of my body as a visual presentation to other people, or a part of me vulnerable to intentional abuse by myself or others, or even as a part of me at all.. it was more like a circumstance and a tool - a thing that was related to me like it now only is in dreams. it wasn't ME, it wasn't even part of me - i was something other than the body with which my consciousness happened to be connected. i didn't know at the time that i thought or felt these things, but the lack of concern for body image, self-protection, germs, dirt and sweat, weather and temperature and being seen naked or moving or feeling or being that i remember indicate it. i was also free from worrying about the potential social effects - the opinions others might form of me and/or the way they might treat me because - of body language, posture, dress, self-absorption, expressed opinions, being right, being smart, being feminine, being tomboyish, having body hair or small breasts or otherwise not fitting some projected physical ideal, having fun, experiencing pleasure, loving pleasure, winning, being angry, expressing pain or displeasure.. in dreams i never worry about shit like that. and it's more like watching a movie or telling myself a story - i never think about what i should do or what its effects might be - i just act and react, like every other participant in the story (although, interestingly, there are usually not many reactions on the part of others to things i say or do)
Current Music: Luther Vandross - Anyone Who Had a Heart
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December 7th, 2005
11:51 am - Busyness
Friday night a couple of Ann's friends came over and we made 4 pies. Chris made 2 himself: vegan apple and pumpkin. I tried to learn while he was doing it, but I would definitely need it all written down to do it myself. The other Chris and I made all the crusts (except a graham cracker one I'd bought), which turned out OK but not great by any means. They were sort of chewy/gummy when they shouldn't have been and it was hard to know how long to cook them for. We think the oven reads higher than its real temperature too, because most of the pies took a lot longer to cook than they should have. Ann and Chris made the blueberry custard pie w/o meringue topping and I took parts/ideas from several recipes and made brandied gingersnap pumpkin pie using the storebought graham cracker crust. I've been eating it with homemade whipped cream (/butter - I just have a handmixer thingy that makes it very thick and not very fluffy) and chopped crystallized ginger. I still have ingredients for SEVERAL more pies, so people should come bake with me.
Saturday night we went to see BB King at Heinz, but I was sleep deprived and kept dozing off. Plus it was really long. I didn't know most of the songs, but it was cool when they did "When Love Comes to Town" and he talked about Bono and U2. He kept talking about how old he was, and talked a lot in general. He also put his hands over his heart a lot, a gesture that lost its impact for me the more he did it. Exhausted though I was, after the concert I started watching James' dvds of Highlander's Season 2 <3 <3 <3.
Sunday I meant to go to the 108 sun salutations class and stay for a video on the internal experience of yoga but didn't. I wound up going to MoJoe's with Marieke and working on books and my purse and staying through my first Brad Yoder show, which was very good. I thought a lot of the songs sounded very similar, but I really liked at least 2 of them and it made for a nice, cozy atmosphere (aided by the fact that the heat was working again).
Monday the news showed this video that my mom emailed me of a crazy Christmas lights display. Check it out!
Tuesday I decided not to wait toil I quit my job here and move home to start doing worthwhile things with my time and my life. I'm going to enroll (if they accept me) in Yoga on Centre's teacher training program starting in January. I will gladly accept donations or gifts to help cover that cost =). I also found this cool site with tons of volunteer opportunities. Since my preschool families keep not calling me for babysitting or to hang out (to my bitter sorrow) I am hoping to find a way to volunteer with small children. I miss them and their learning explosion and their openness and curiosity and playing and vulnerability and trustingness and smallness, and the emotions and feelings about myself that come from interacting with all those qualities. I haven't found such a thing yet, but I've responded to a couple opportunities, one with Brad Yoder's tutoring program and another to teach life skills to women. There's apparently tons of ways to volunteer and do things that resemble social work, which I have been potentially interested in as a job and all kinds of other socially or humanitarianly valuable. Not that I have time to do more on top of work, yoga, and crafting, and keeping my life, belongings, and responsibilities in order.. but I do watch more TV now than I think I ever have in my life..
Current Music: NIN - Suck
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November 9th, 2005
04:59 pm
I have a new Ashtanga teacher. She does a wonderful thing with shavasana, pulling the legs out and straightening them, then pushing the shoulders down and straightening and massaging the neck, sometimes with yummy menthol smelling ointment.
A little creature has started gnawing through my insides, making it known that it wants to practice kungfu again, now, and a lot. If it turns out to motivate me enough that I practice and learn on my own from all the forms and techniques I already have to work with, maybe some day I'll want more and have a crystallized purpose in returning to a teacher.
Before that though, I think I'll go to Cameron Shayne's Budokon workshop next weekend. "Power in stillness, power in movement, power in emptiness." I like that. I had a mini-confrontation with power last night that revealed a fear of being powerful and an innocent, heady and.. empowering.. freedom in acknowledging, allowing, and working towards a power I believe to be righteous.
Last weekend, James and I saw Nine Inch Nails in Philly and I have been listening to NIN ever since. Somehow I'd forgotten the tender-raw-deep-yearning-vulnerable-aching-beautyjoy he gives me. Thanks to Adam for urging me to listen to the new album and go see the concert.
This coming weekend my roommates and I are going to see the Dalai Lama speak in DC. I expect, if I'm able to be at least mostly present, that it will change my life.
Next weekend I'm having a pre-Thanksgiving potlucky party thing at our house. Let me know if you're interested in attending.
And I don't think I mentioned it yet, but I've been officially hired at Fidelity Flight Simulation and have a permanent full-time job thingy with benefits now. And direct deposit!
Current Music: Portishead - Mysterons
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October 25th, 2005
12:15 pm
Mean and Green.
244 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 3481 times.
7% of people had this result.
Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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October 13th, 2005
10:01 am - who's the king?
Zeus
Indeed, you are 58% erudite, 79% sensual, 66% martial, and 54% saturnine. |
This supreme God of Gods was worshipped throughout the Greek world, and his influence spread to every culture of antiquity. Idealized as the very model of the practical ruler, Zeus was nevertheless a tyrant.
Considered the omnipotent God of law, justice, and strength, he was also thought of as the God of thunder, lightening, mountain tops, the Heavens, abundance, health, and many other auspicious qualities. Sacred to him was the oak tree, for it reflected his steadfast power and might.
As everyone knows, Zeus was something of a philanderer. Always cheating on his ever suspicious wife, Hera, Zeus and his many lovers were responsible for several Gods, demigods, heroes, and villains, Herakles (better known as Hercules) being the most famous result of one of his flings.
The Fifteen Gods
These are the 15 categories of this test. If you score above average in …
…all or none of the four variables: Dagda. … Erudite: Thoth. … Sensual: Frey. … Martial: Mars. … Saturnine: Mictlantecuhtli. … Erudite & Sensual: Amun. … Erudite & Martial: Odin. … Erudite & Saturnine: Anubis. … Sensual & Martial: Zeus. … Sensual & Saturnine: Cernunnos. … Martial & Saturnine: Loki. … Erudite, Sensual & Martial: Lug. … Erudite, Sensual & Saturnine: Coyote. … Erudite, Martial & Saturnine: Hades. … Sensual, Martial & Saturnine: Pan. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 7% on erudite |
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You scored higher than 43% on sensual |
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You scored higher than 81% on martial |
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You scored higher than 47% on saturnine |
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September 30th, 2005
11:23 am
Last weekend I went to the Green Festival in DC and got to spend time with my mom and brother, Gabe's girlfriend, my roommate, and a friend who lives in DC. On top of visiting wonderfulness, the festival itself was informative, inspiring, exciting and fun:
The Green Festival is a two-day party with a serious purpose: to accelerate the emergence of a new economic paradigm that is life-affirming and life-restoring. Together we are cultivating a culture of sustainability and social equity that honors our interdependence with all life. Green Festival unites green businesses, social and environmental groups, visionary thinkers and thousands of community members in a lively exchange of ideas, commerce and movement building fun.
( some tidbits from the festival )
I came home and bought all organic foods, from which I made a fantastic dish of stir-fried seitan with baby bok choy, ginger, onions, garlic, and this soy-ginger sauce Julia and I called magic sauce, all over wonderful somen noodles.
I also contacted a couple people about possible career paths and found a whole lot of resources to continue to follow up on. I started lists on 43things (currently I guess I only want to do 17 things with my life) and del.icio.us.
To my great disappointment, I found out this week that 1 of my yoga teachers is moving to Oregon and another's starting a new job that will prevent her from teaching the class I take, both within the next couple of weeks =(. I wrote this entry yesterday and it was completely erased when I clicked on the question mark information link next to the tags box, so this is my attempt to re-create it.
Current Music: counting crows - mr jones
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